Dad Jokes

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for…

Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was too tired.

I got all my looks from my father. Mostly just the look of disappointment.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Q. I’m reading a book on the history of glue.A. I just can’t seem to put it down.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

I have mixed emotions when I receive Father’s Day gifts. I’m glad my children remember me, but I’m disappointed that they actually think I dress…

I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.