Dad Jokes

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

I have mixed emotions when I receive Father’s Day gifts. I’m glad my children remember me, but I’m disappointed that they actually think I dress…

I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.

Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A. A nervous wreck.

Q. If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?A. CELLphies

Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.