Short Quotes

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.(Albert Einstein)

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.(Emo Philips)

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a “No Bell” prize.