Short Quotes

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.(Albert King)

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

I don’t like morning people… or mornings, or people.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

If only common sense were more common.