Short Quotes

Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven… or do they send someone to pick us up?

I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.

Never play poker with the world’s fastest animal, because he’s a cheetah.

I’ll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .(Frank Zappa)

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.