Short Quotes

Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven… or do they send someone to pick us up?

I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.

Never play poker with the world’s fastest animal, because he’s a cheetah.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

I’ll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .(Frank Zappa)

I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?